September 2013

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Custom Text

Most Popular Tags

Dec. 16th, 2004

Seen on a mat

Dec. 16th, 2004 10:18 pm

Important things you should know about your new doormat

Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat.

Page Summary

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Style Credit